Dress Yourself

Okay, so technically this post isn't about being a mom, but every mom needs a new dress every now and then. Right? A friend of mine ordered some dresses from this web-site and they are all amazing. No matter what you see on the web-site, you can customize the sleeve, neckline, and hem length to fit your body exactly AND modesty preferences. So, if you've been looking for a really great new dress that is just your style... Check it out! And most of the dresses are around $60.

We Design. You Customize.

Good Books

This is going to be a post that will also be followed up with  a post-edit. But, in order to finish writing it, I am curious;

What lessons have you learned from good literature that have helped you in your lives? 

Don't worry, if you need a week to think about it, I will ask this same question at the end of next weeks post.

I have learned many lessons from good literature. Some of the ones that have stuck with me are:

From David Copperfield :“Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure nineteen nineteen and six, result happiness. Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure twenty pounds ought and six, result misery.” — Charles Dickens, 

From Mockingjay:  Some walks you have to take alone-Suzanne Collins

Next week I will be posting on something I learned from the King James Version of the Holy Bible. Regardless of what religion you choose or choose not to follow, the Bible is still a piece of literature, and an  incredible book. And it has a lot of important messages; and a lot of messages that we can follow as mothers.

My post next week will be called: Martha vs. Mary.

Tuesdays in Tucson
Reading and learning,
Brandi

Traveling with a Toddler

With the holidays coming up in just a few short months, I'm sure many of you will be traveling to visit family. I wanted to provide a few tips for traveling on an airplane with a small child. I also wanted to include a packing list to help you. I like to pack Sara's stuff in a separate bag to keep it all together. I found this great list at BabyZone.com "Travel Packing Guide for Baby"

Here are a few things to remember for the airplane:

1) Something to suck on to help their ears. Bottle, pacifier, or sippy cup

2) Bring a few special toys just for the airplane to help keep them busy

3) Lots of snacks - Sara loves to eat suckers, but I only reserve them for special occasions like the airplane.

4) Blanket - If your baby gets sleepy, they can take a nap in your lap. Airplanes are often cold.

5) If your child is under 2, ask about extra seats on the plane when you check-in. They may be able to get an empty seat next to you for a little extra room to move around.

6) BRING PURELL WIPES! Airplanes can be super disgusting and full of germs, so wipe down the arm rests and tray with Anti-bacterial wipes.

Any other tips?

Kids Eat Free

I'm always looking to save money here or there and I know some restaurants have "Kids Eat Free" days or times. Also, if you are on Facebook, sometimes if you 'like' a restaurant, you get specials deals. Today, the Chick-fil-A near our house is having Prince and Princess night. If your kid dresses up like a Prince or Princess, they get a free kids meal. This particular Chick-fil-A does stuff like this all the time and we LOVE it. Check your local area to see what offers are available. Who doesn't love a free meal, right?

There are also web-sites available to help you out like this one: Kids Eat Free

So if you're looking for something fun to do this weekend, find out where kids eat free and take your family to dinner! (Beats having to doing the dishes, AGAIN)

Called to Serve

As the Christmas season approaches, you may find yourself trying to concoct ways to keep yourself and your family focused on the true meaning of this special time of year.

Uuuuurrrrrrrr! Okay, someone put on the brakes. I can hear them screeching from wherever you are. You are probably thinking Christmas, really, she is doing a post about Christmas? Isn't it enough that the stores already have decorations out, but really a blog post about Christmas???

I know, I know it is only September; the first day of Fall, for Pete's sake (who is Pete, anyway?) BUT, some things require a little bit of planning, and I would like to get your wheels turning before it is too late.

SO...during December, we often turn our thoughts to Christ (as we should!); reflecting on His glorious birth, recommitting ourselves to live a more Christlike life, taking a moment to express overdue appreciation, smiling as we go along our way, loving those around us, serving those in need. It is a wonderful time of year in which we gather around our kitchen making special treats to take to friends and neighbors. A time we revel in the traditions passed down from long ago, traditions inherited from our spouses, and traditions we plant as seeds in our children.

What are your Christmas traditions? How do you keep Christ in Christmas? How do you serve in His name this time of year?

THIS YEAR, I finally get to start a tradition I have always longed to do. Our entire family will be working in a soup kitchen. I remember doing this once as a high school project my junior year, and more importantly, I remember the very distinct impression it left with me. I had a whole new respect and appreciation for food. I also began to feel ashamed when I threw food away or was wasteful because of poor meal planning or horrible laziness. This actually still haunts me today when I think about how my garbage disposal eats better than entire families. But perhaps what was most profound was the sacredness that was given to my mealtime prayers; it is not rushed, it is not repetitive, it is grateful, and it is thoughtful.

FYI: I recently learned you can call 211 on your phone (similar to 411 or 911, but not to be confused) and someone will answer the phone and tell you how to help in your community and actually put you in touch with people who will show you how!!! So cool!

Sorry....

Yesterday was a little crazy at my house. Sorry, I missed my day. But, just for old time's sake, I wanted to share this recipe:

INGREDIENTS FOR OLD TIME PLAY-DO

1 Cup flour
1 cup water
2 tsp Cream of tarta
1/2 cup salt
1 Tsp. vegetable oil
Few drops of any food coloring

Instructions:

Mix well. Cook for 3 minutes on medium hest until dough sticks to spoon.

Knead in food coloring. Knead on waxed paper till smooth.

This reminds me of my mom. I know play-do is cheap, but this is fun because it reminds me of being little.

Tuesdays in Tucson,
Playing with do,
Brandi

Bedtime Woes

There are lot's of different sleep theories when it comes to babies/kids and book after book out there to define or explain why their theory is best. But when it comes right down to it, I think a lot of it depends on the mom and the kid. I used "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Baby" when Sara was really young to help her get on a schedule and it worked great for us! As she has gotten older, I've had to adapt to certain things and transitions.

About 4 months ago, I dropped the bottle at nap time and bed time. Up until recently, she would have her milk in a sippy cup just before she went to sleep. And even more recently, as in the last couple of days, we have gone to only having milk downstairs with lunch or dinner. I made the change because I realized that brushing her teeth before she drank her milk was kind of pointless and I want to develop good dental hygiene habits.

Plus, we recently left her with 2 baby sitters who had to put her to sleep. One let her scream for 10 minutes before she finally fell asleep. The other, lovingly went back upstairs and held Sara until she fell asleep in her arms. How sweet is that?

All that being said, she is having a more difficult time relaxing and going to sleep on her own because of the change in her routine. Now, she drinks her milk downstairs before bed, we brush teeth, read books, then go upstairs. I hold her in the chair with her blanket, washcloth (yes, she sleeps holding a washcloth), and pacifier (another battle I am gearing myself up for). We listen to about 4 minutes of music while she lays her head on my chest and then I put her in bed. Sometimes she tries to straighten her legs so that I can't lay her down, so I try to talk to her. "Okay Sara, it's time for night-night. No crying or fussing, okay?" She nods. "I'm going to put you to bed and not come up until in the morning, do you understand?" She nods. I then lay her down in bed.

Usually it takes only a couple of minutes before I hear the blood curdling screams. I wait half a minute or so and then go back upstairs to find her standing at the corner of her crib screaming. Take her out and say, "Okay, Momma will hold you for 1 more minute and then it's time for bed. Do you understand?" She nods. I hold her for another minute or so and then have the same conversation with her as I do the first time, lay her in bed and walk out. This time, she falls asleep.

So I'm asking you this.... how can I get my almost 2 year old back on track with a good (and easy) bed time routine?

What's Mine is Mine and What's Yours is Mine

I've learned that being a mom means not really ever having much to yourself anymore. For example, a bowl of ice cream or cereal is automatically expected to be shared with the child in the room. And unless that chocolate chip cookie is consumed after the child goes to bed, it's not really all yours either. A drink from the soda fountain? Wouldn't it be nice to go take a drink without moist cracker crumbs clinging to the straw?

After going to the temple the other night, Cameron and I stopped and got a little treat at Sonic on the way home. I got the Butterfinger sundae from the Value Menu and as soon as I walked through the door, Sara said, "Ya Ya's" (she calls herself Ya Ya) while pointed at the ice cream. Of course she wasn't interested in the Cherry Limeade CreamSlush Cameron got, only what was in Mom's hands. Maybe it's just what she is used to or maybe I share too much.

I do share suckers, on occasion, even though I know I was one of those people before I had kids who would look at moms that did that and think, "That is so gross!" But it's only to prevent the car seat or something worse getting covered in stickiness.

So the question is: Where do you draw the line? When is it okay to say something is yours and yours alone?

Being a First Time Mom

I found this article called "Being a First Time Mom" and thought it was awesome. I hope you like it too!

Now that I'm a veteran mom, I love to watch women who are pregnant with their first child. You can always pick them out of a crowd. They are the ones smiling blissfully, dragging their husbands through Babies R Us and registering for every item that has a bar code on it. Of course we need those scratch mittens! I remember being that woman. The world was full of possibilities and I looked forward to embracing all the rainbows and butterflies that accompanied motherhood. At least that's what I was assured in every ubiquitous advertisement and commercial for diapers or baby lotion.

Most of my friends who have children would say that their first pregnancy was their easiest. Never mind the fact that they vomited every day for the first trimester, or that they were plagued with edema making their ankles virtually undetectable to the naked eye. I think it's because we knew no differently. The first pregnancy sets the standard for what is normal in a woman's mind about how it should go the next time around. There is something blissful about that ignorance. The perceived normalcy; the promise of that heavenly epidural; the anticipation of holding your sleepy, quiet newborn. Of course having no other children to look after who wake you up at 6 AM every morning to turn on Noggin helps.

Labor comes and goes and exhausted, you are wheeled out to your car with your new bundle of joy, dreamily admiring your husband as he fumbles around with the car seat installation. Everything is rose-colored and you think the hard part is over. After all, you just felt like you were going to pop like an engorged tick those last few weeks before delivery, and you had to push a whole hour and you can't believe you did it! And well your little genius is a pro at breastfeeding already and what was everyone talking about when they said you would be sore for a couple of weeks? You feel great!

Then you get home. Home becomes a very strange, surreal place with a newborn human plopped down in her car seat on the living room floor for the first time. The space literally changes around you and you must adjust to this new addition. Oh yeah, and the space that all the baby gear occupies. Could "they" make strollers, swings, car seats, or exersaucers any bigger or obnoxiously colored? Thank goodness we all think to brilliantly tuck these contraptions behind the ottoman...no one will see them there!

The first night home with a newborn is like being taught how to swim by being pushed into the deep end by your Uncle Dave. Remember when you were still pregnant and all those parents out there told you to "sleep while you can" and you just rolled your eyes at them? Yeah, they were being serious when they said that and a four-word sentence was all the advice they could muster after decades of sleeplessness. You may have planned to go to bed after watching Letterman like you always have, but your sweet baby has no desire to fall in line with your schedule. Like a maniacal dictator, Junior has other plans for you and you shall now serve him!

The first few weeks of this new arrangement is the hardest part of being a first-time mom. I'm convinced. Lack of sleep can make anything seem ten times worse than it actually is. Breastfeeding may be going terribly, your kid could be soiling ten outfits a day with blowouts, your husband may be going on with his life as normal, but lack of sleep can do you in. Of course you will experience this with each subsequent newborn, but the difference is you will expect it which makes it a lot easier to handle.

The adjustment to being a first-time mom is so surprising and gradual, that you often hope that time travel was a possibility. If you could just go back to the blissful days of pregnancy; or fast-forward a year when you would be confident in your mothering abilities. You are flooded with new feelings you don't understand towards your childless friends who want to drop by anytime to hold your cute kid regardless of the fact that you haven't showered in three days and your smelly shirt is encrusted with spit-up. Or towards the grandmas who you just know are going to drop the baby or sneak them a peanut while you're not looking. And your husband! He simply has no idea what you go through all day while he's relaxing in his air-conditioned office having coffee and donuts with his co-workers. If only you knew there were millions of other first-time moms out there living an identical existence to yours.

Eventually you and the baby emerge from your cocoon. One day you boldly feel like you can brave a trip to the mall or a stroll in the park. Yes, it takes you an hour to groggily go through the mental checklist of the essentials you need to bring with you. Three pacifiers in case she drops two on the ground. A sling in case he fusses too much in the stroller. A nasal aspirator in case she spontaneously gets a cold. And of course the scratch mittens! Once you get to your destination you hope and pray that no one clutches your baby's hands, infecting them with malaria or the plague! And of course you timed it just right so you wouldn't have to breastfeed in public, a crime worse than murder in our society.

Time rolls along and you either get more sleep or you get used to not having any, but either way, life gets easier. Your baby develops a personality and makes you laugh at the funny things he does. You feel confident enough to let grandma watch Junior while you go out to dinner with your husband to chat about, of all things, Junior. Your baby hits milestones so fast your head is spinning and you even think about trying to conceive a little sibling for Number One. Yes, when it comes to being a first-time mom, the saying goes that "the days are long but the years are short" and when you look back, all you can see are the rainbows and butterflies.

Post Dated: Baby # 2.

I remember being at the point of emotional breakdown praying to have another baby. When my oldest son was 4 Months I was ready to try for number 2. After 18 months of trying with no success, we saw as much of a specialty fertility doctor that the Law School income would allow. Two more years of law school, and no more fertility success. Needless to say, desperation was an understatement. But during this time, we turned in our adoption papers, and two weeks after our profile went live, we were chosen by a beautiful birth mother who was 6 months pregnant. SO, only three months to go before our second beautiful son arrived.
Then, that desperation turned into more mother's guilt and fear. What if I hadn't taught Lincoln everything he needed to know before we brought home another baby? Had I shown him enough love in two years? Had my desperation and moments of tears taken away from the precious time I could have been playing with him? Oh, and what about this new baby? Could I love him as much as I loved Lincoln? Could I bond with him the same way I had with my first?
I was facing a major dilemma. What would I do?
Then it happened. Henry was born. The moment I held him, and fed him his first bottle, I was overwhelmed with the same love I remembered feeling the day Lincoln was born. I was re-introduced to mothering a newborn, and it was incredible.
I had been given advice that was very helpful:
FIRST:
To help my two year old adjust, I was told to bring a gift for them when they first met their new sibling; a gift from the baby to the older sibling.
SECOND:
I was advised to get my two year old sleeping in his own bed a few months before the new baby was born, so there was no animosity shown towards the baby when they finally slept in the crib (we had Henry sleep in our room for the first few months, so Lincoln had been in his big boy bed, for 4 months by this time.)
THIRD:
While feeding the baby, have a box of special toys set aside for this time for the older child.  (Not the everyday toys, but toys just for this time) These were novel, and showed the two year old you were thinking about them, and not just the baby. My neighbor, a mother of seven, recently added, that as soon as you had fed the newborn, (since it takes a while sometimes and they get held all the time) put them down, and pick up the older child, and show them you are still their mom, and you love them.
FOURTH: 
If possible, after feeding the infant, leave them with dad or someone you trust for an hour, and take your older child on a date. Give them some one-on-one time where there is no baby. Do something they want to do; go to a park, go on a run, go to McDonalds for ice cream, the library, etc...
FIFTH: 
Realize that while newborns are tiny and new, they are tough. Allow the older sibling to help, if they will. Allow them to touch their new baby, and help with diapers, or lotion, or bath time. Lincoln asked us, "Can I touch Henry's toes?" YES! "Can I touch his hands?" YES! "Can I touch his head?" YES! "Can I poke him in the eyes?" NO! But, he knew he could love on Henry and that was okay! Don't allow the baby to be a no-no  all the time. Incorporate a lot of yeses.
SIXTH:
Prepare as best you can. During family prayer, talk about how grateful you are for the new baby, and how grateful you are for the child/children you already have. Let your older child hear you bragging about what a good helper they are (because chances are when you are talking after new baby is born, many conversations are about how you and the baby are doing.)
SEVEN: 
Realize that change is hard. Adding a new entity to the family takes some getting used to. Be patient with the meltdowns, the new outbursts that are really just ways of getting attention, and be patient with yourself as you learn to take care of two babies, perhaps a spouse, and yourself.

If any of you have more to add- please feel free. I'm always up for any additions I have neglected!

Trick-or-Treat

I can't believe I'm already seeing Halloween candy and costumes in the stores more than a month away from the actual holiday. Halloween falls on Sunday this year, so we'll probably just be participating in our ward trunk-or-treat the night before. But how do you deal with Halloween when it falls on a Sunday? Sara is young enough, it doesn't really matter. I remember when the holiday fell on Sunday as a kid and being disappointed I couldn't go trick-or-treating in the neighborhood.

But no matter what day Halloween is on, a costume is still involved. I saw some absolutely adorable costumes as Pottery Barn kids, however, they were so expensive I can't imagine spending that kind of money on something my kid is going to wear for a couple of hours. How big of an investment should a Halloween costume be? I can make something for Sara in a few hours and be good to go. I feel like she is young enough, it really doesn't matter. I do know, however, as kids get older they become very opinionated about what their Halloween costumes should be. I remember my mom working very hard to make the perfect costumes for us when we were younger. I also remember seeing pictures of myself at a Halloween party wearing an indian outfit that was a leather bikini top and fringed skirt to match. I must have been only 3 or 4, but I used that picture in my defense as an argument to try and get my mom to let me wear a bikini when I was 15 or 16. It never worked.

My parents sent Sara a traditional Chilean dress and that is what she is going to wear for Halloween. The dress fits her perfectly and she already loves to wear it around the house, so hopefully it won't be too difficult to get her to wear it to the trunk-or-treat. I never thought much about Halloween until now and apparently it's a pretty big deal to some people, so you tell me.... How do you deal with all that is: Halloween?

Looking Back

I know for many of us, we have only been mothers for a couple of years or even a couple of months. There is such a long learning curve that probably lasts about 18 years or even longer. And even though I've only been a mom for a short time and still have a long way to go, in some ways, I feel like I've been a mother forever and it's all I've ever known. Sure, I can look back and remember days as a teenager wishing I could be an adult because life was 'so much easier and less stressful' or days in college thinking life in the corporate world would be so much less annoying than having to study all the time, or even while I was working full-time thinking it must be so fun to stay at home and play with kids all day. But the truth is, I probably missed out on enjoying a lot of those stages of life by wishing I were on to the next.

There are days when I am anxious for Sara to start school, so I can sit around all day and wonder what I'm going to do with myself. But by then, I'm sure I will have a few more little ankle biters to tend do and even less time to day dream. There are certainly things about my life that knowing what I know now, I would do differently and motherhood feels the same. Although I certainly wouldn't change being a mother, I would choose to not stress out so much when Sara would cry and not feel badly about spending another Sunday in the foyer. Or that she isn't go to starve if I don't feed her this very second. So what if you were asked...

If you could go back to before your first baby, what would you tell yourself?

Loving Baby Number 2

I have a friend who is due with her second baby boy in just a few weeks. At dinner the other night she said she had been struggling. When we started talking she shared that she wasn't sure how she would ever love another baby as much as she loved her first, and what was going to happen with her relationship with her first born son.

I gave her my advice which I will post-edit about next week, but I'm curious?

WHAT IS YOUR ADVICE ON LOVING NUMBER TWO AND STILL LOVING NUMBER ONE?


And yes, she will be breastfeeding, if that makes a difference.

Tuesdays in Tucson,
Brandi

Labor Day

Happy Labor Day everyone! My baby girl is getting home tomorrow and I can't wait. I have missed her so much. It really has been nice have a clean house for 4 whole days, going to bed and waking up whenever I want, and not cooking 3 meals a day. But, I'm still ready for her to come home. She is a part of me. And even though I've only had her in my life for 2 years, she has become a part of who I am.

I hope everyone enjoyed their Labor Day weekend, I know I did.

First Week of School Blues

My oldest started kindergarten this past week. Overall, I thought it all went very smoothly; she has a great teacher. But all of her little neighborhood friends are in the other class. She is feeling lonely and sad because she doesn't have a friend in her class. Friday, she told me that she asked all of the kids if they wanted to play with her on the playground and they all said no. She told me that she doesn't want to go back to school.

We feel like her frustration with school is probably more than not having a friend in class. We think she is having a hard time with the adjustment of being away from home everyday. She's tired, and there are a lot of new people and things to learn.

How do you help you child adjust to starting school?

I invited a little girl from her class to come over and play at our house. They had a great time. I was hoping that if they got together to play outside of the classroom setting, they could get to know each other better. I think that I just need to remember that like adults it takes time to build a friendship with a new person. I plan on inviting her over to play again.

We listen to her concerns and try to focus on the positives of going to school. When she says she doesn't want to go back to school, I just tell her that she has to go to school. Please share your ideas and experiences of how to help little ones overcome the nervous feelings of starting school.

Flying Solo

So Cameron took Sara to visit his family in Utah yesterday and I don't know what to do with myself! Actually, I do miss them a lot and find myself thinking Sara is in the backseat, or I have to be quiet while she is sleeping, or that I can't sleep in. It's definitely weird going from having this little talking shadow with you all the time and then it's quiet. I have a list of things to get done while they are away:

*Paint the bathroom upstairs
*Visit my cousin
*Baby-sit friends baby
*Go to Ikea
*Go to Forever 21, Sephora, and DownEast Outfitters
*Eat popcorn for dinner
*Sleep in
*Read a book, maybe 2
*Listen in church
*Join the gym
*Meet some friends for luch
*See "Eat, Pray, Love" (LOVED it!!)
*Redecorate the living room with a few things I got at Ikea (shhh! Don't tell Cameron)
*And do whatever I want, whenever I want just because

I went in to Sara's room last night and smelled a blanket that was in her bed. It smelled like her. I thought about sleeping with it and then decided that was silly. I really, really miss my Sara heart. But I have to say, it is nice having a few 'quiet' days around the house.

All the Single Ladies...

I LOVE to listen to music in the car. I like to sing the words out loud and do my little car dances that Sara tries to copy. But I must say, the music I listen to isn't always the most appropriate. Eminem, Beyonce, Lady Gaga, Black Eyed Peas... I listen to a hip hop station based here in Phoenix. Sara is starting to talk now, and I've been wondering:

When should I start censoring what I watch/listen to?

Maybe it seems silly to some of you who would say, "Well if it's not okay for your kids to watch it, what makes it okay for you?" But really, I'll just be honest and say I probably watch a few shows I wouldn't want my kids to watch and I probably listen to music that I don't want my kids to understand what the lyrics mean. So realistically speaking, because I know I'm not the only one, when should the censorship begin?