Tuesdays in Tucson:Eating time; another opinion!

I am Brandi.
I am a mother of two beautiful boys; Lincoln is four and Henry is two.
We have been through a pregnancy and an adoption, both resulting in our two miracle babies.
They are energetic and they go-go-go all day long.
Karen asked me to chime in with some of my insights as well,
and I am grateful for the opportunity.

I understand that my opinions are mine, and
I love that we live in a land where we can disagree.
I am not offended by differing beliefs. I welcome them.

That being said,

Eating time at my house growing up was different than other homes.
I was a diabetic, and so if I didn't like what was for dinner,
(which wasn't often)
I couldn't go without food,
on the likely chance of a diabetic coma.
My parents made a rule that if we didn't like what was for dinner,
we could have a peanut butter sandwich.
This way, we had some protein,
but without the added benefit of
snacking on snack foods all night.

The fact that my four year old is picky is something I take full responsibility for.
At 26, with a college degree, I didn't know you were supposed to keep trying foods numerous times, if they didn't like them the first time.
Oops!
So, I thought I had a picky baby, when in reality, I just stopped after one go!
With baby number two, I said,
"You don't like green beans? oh, try them again!!!"
He is not picky.

When Lincoln turned three, he started having to taste everything.
If he didn't like it, we called it a "no-thank you bite"
meaning he doesn't have to eat it, he can simply say, "no thank you,"
(he can have a peanut butter sandwich)
but he needs to try it.
Our pediatrician told us never to fight on the concept of food.
This was the best advice I was given
We were told the following:
a) if they fill their own plate,
their eyes are often bigger than their tummies, and
requiring them to eat everything on their plate, is one of the number one causes of obesity.
b) keep offering new foods,

but don't make it so stressful,
that dinner time becomes something they resent.

c) He told us, one day they will be famished,
and the next day not hungry at all.
That is perfectly fine.
d) Never tell them they can't have
their snack if they don't eat their food. He said, they don't get an extra snack at snack time, but they can still have their snack, at the appropriate time. When we take away all remaining food for the night (if they don't eat their dinner,) he told us this makes food something they want control over, and ultimately it
doesn't end well.

To help with not having stress over eating, we used a tupperware container in the fridge,
filled with 3-4 snacks.
We started when Lincoln was two and a half.
One was a fruit snack, one a fruit, one a carb/protein (like peanut butter crackers), and one extra snack.
Lincoln knew he could eat his snacks when he was hungry, and he could choose which snack he wanted first, second, and third, but he only got the snacks in the container
(he got to help choose what to fill the container with, within reason)
This way he felt empowered by choosing his snacks, and he could open the fridge and get what he wanted, when he was hungry. HE also learned that once the snacks were gone, they were gone.
He learned quickly to manage himself.

We tried baby food with Henry. It didn't go well, so we fed him table food.
He loves to eat. We mashed up our potatoes and soups, so he ate what we ate.
It was a lot more cost effective for us, and there was no transition from baby food, to real food.

Hmmm...
Through the venture of food, I have learned
that while two year olds are sweet-- they aren't always capable of deep reasoning skills
Four year olds are much more aware of the world, the idea of cause and effect, and understanding more reason, which is why we waited to introduce the no thank you bite.

Good Luck, Bon appetite!