Can I have my $20 back, please?

So let me tell you a story...

About a month ago, Sara started to get the whole icky, goopy, runny nose thing. Then, her eyes started watering and she was coughing. I thought: teething, cold, allergies - all the usual suspects. But after a couple of weeks, it wasn't going away. There was one crazy Sunday she was running a fever of 104. I finally got it down with some Tylenol, but she obviously didn't feel good. Next day she was back to her normal goopy nose self.

I finally took her to the Dr. 2 weeks ago. He said it was probably a sinus infection and prescribed Amoxocillian. He also told me I could give her Dimnetap for the cough and Tylenol/Motrin for the fever. Holy Drug Overload. I paced myself and did what was absolutely necessary. She started feeling better within a couple of days. It was great! The antibiotics were over this past Sunday and we went to church as usual. Sunday night she goes to bed and wakes up 3 times during the night with diarrhea and a fever. We're starting this again? Seriously??

Monday - fever, Tuesday - fever and more diarrhea, Wednesday - fever, Thursday - fever, Friday - fever and woke up at 5:35am with diarrhea. By day 5 of having a fever, I thought for sure I needed to take her to the doc. Called and got an early appointment. Yes! I'm thinking bronchitus, pnemonia, more serious sinus infection, upper respiratory infection - something!

Just to make sure you understand, Sara has 3 doctors depending on what is wrong with her I go to different ones. For her immunizations, I take her to the Dr who does free well-child visits. For sickness, I take her to the Dr close to home who I can usually get in same day when he isn't traveling to India. And the 3rd Dr I take her to when she's sick and her other Dr is in India. Moving on...

Her sick Dr was booked up and her back-up Dr doesn't work on Fridays, so I called her immunization Dr who was also booked up, but there was another Dr in his office that could see us right away. Now I know why. Of course, he was so patient with Sara. He talked to her about what he was going to do, listened to her tell him about getting a slushy if she was a good girl and that she didn't want shots, but she wanted a sticker after he was all done. But he was really rude to me. Asked me a bunch of questions about why the other Dr put her on antibiotics for a sinus infection when according to him, "Toddlers don't get sinus infections." And asked me why I would think her fever could be associated with teething because, "They don't get a fever from teething." And asked me why I told him about the tubes in her ears and her susceptibility to getting ear infections when she clearly had no drainage in her ears. Okay, buddy, I get the point. I am the idiot and you're the Dr, but then why is she sick and what is wrong with her?

Wait for it.... wait... wait for it..... "Ma'am, she has a cold." Don't you Ma'am me Bucko and where can I get my $20 co-pay back??

One Inspirational Mother

Unsung Heroes.

Sacrifice is a topic I have thought a lot about as a mama! I look to my parents and my in-laws as some of the greatest examples of sacrifice.

I saw this video on Sunday night. It is 10 minutes long,  but it made me think a lot about my job as a mom.




These soldiers fight for our freedom.
They fight for our liberty.
They fight for our promised land.
They fight for us.
I am eternally grateful for my own family members who fight to keep me safe.


As I thought about these, unsung heroes my thoughts were turned to motherhood and fatherhood; two jobs that require a lot of heroic efforts, but are often un-applauded. 


I remember my Dad telling a group of knot headed teenage boys one time that he was willing to fight Satan--if he had to- to save his own kids.It made me wonder:
                 WHAT DO YOU FIGHT FOR AS RELATED TO YOUR KIDS?
I am not trying to say we are soldiers. But parenthood teaches us a lot about sacrifice if we let it.

I fight every day to protect my kids from the evils in the world. I know that sooner than later they are going to have to go out into the world and face it head on. I fight against the belief that only two incomes can provide for my family. We have old cars that don't require a payment. We have furniture from the Salvation Army (that we love.)  I fight against my own insecurities. I fight to instill confidence in my boys.  I often fight to keep them quiet in church, but that's a whole different blog!!! Here's to fighting!

Tuesdays in Tucson
Fighting For My Family
Brandi

Saucing

I'd like to take a poll. I watched a Dr. Phil (I don't normally watch Dr. Phil and don't usually support what he does, but this was a topic that interested me.) episode a few months ago about a mother who uses hot sauce as a form of discipline for her son. I know other moms who use hot sauce on the tongue for whining, talking back, or saying bad words. Just yesterday, there was a follow-up episode on the status of this woman and her son (1 of 6 kids). It has been determined that using hot sauce to discipline is not abusive and has even been recommended by some doctors and psychologists to treat behaviors like lying, sucking on a thumb, or saying bad words. Dr. Phil says, "This may not be an abusive treatment, but it's not good parenting."

What do you think?

Is "saucing" a healthy and reasonable form of discipline? Yes/No and Why?

A REAL Vacation

What is your idea of a REAL vacation?

When you become a parent, vacations are never the same. Before we had Sara, Cam and I went on all kinds of trips. Since Sara was born, we've been on a few mini trips to California. We did go to Hawaii when she was about 5 months old, but it wasn't much of a vacation for me.

I have friends who have left their kids with parents, grandparents, siblings, and friends to go on trips. Cameron's parents live in Utah and mine live in Chile. But even if we did have family close by, I don't think I would be okay with leaving her. I could maybe go for a few days, but any more than 2 or 3 days seems like forever. Not to mention the fact that it took Sara 2 months to go to the gym and nursery without crying. The idea of leaving her with someone for days just feels impossible.

Cameron wanted to go on a cruise next year for 8 days. I LOVE cruises and they are such a great way to vacation, but I would be miserable. I could enjoy the first few days, but after that... no way. There is NO way I am leaving Sara for 8 days. Does this make me sound totally crazy?

If you are the type of person that can leave your kids and feel totally comfortable with it, by no means does it make you a bad or uninterested parent. I think it just means you have a healthy attachment to your child. I don't know what it is about it that scares me so much, but I just can't ever imagine myself being okay with it. I guess I better figure out how if I ever want to go on a REAL vacation again. I'm content to not have to worry about it for another 5 to 10 years though.

Parenting the Hard Way

 I want to start out today by asking:

HOW DO YOU MAKE THE HARD DECISIONS AS A PARENT AND SHOW AN INCREASE OF LOVE?

I am really great friends with a woman who has an older son who, because of his continual drug use, chose not to continue living at home. The expectations were given, and he refused to abide by them; therefore causing consequences for his actions.

 My kids are really young and we are not yet at the point of having our 5, 3 and 3 month olds decisions be enough that they are choosing not to live at home.
(SIGH) perhaps, someday we will be there, although that is a long way off hopefully.

As a parent of young kids, I am not prepared for this part of life with them yet
However, we have been dealing with a very close friend who is making poor choices as an adult, and by so doing choosing not to get to be with those she truly cares about; including our little family. This devastates her and she has shared her concerns with us, but there is also a refusal to accept that help is necessary.We accept this friend as part of our family, and we have great reason to be invested in her life. We have been placed as parental role models in her life, but we are truly struggling.

If anyone out there still reads ....any insight is helpful!

What you don't see | Mormon Times

What you don't see | Mormon Times

This is an absolutely wonderful and honest article. I really hope you all read it, I think you'll love it too!

Is it ever okay....

to lie to your kids? This one is a tough one for me. I am totally opposed to lying, but are there situations in which lying to your kids is okay? The following experiences happened over the past few weeks either to myself or to a friend of mine. You tell me, what would you have said?

#1) Son asks, "More cookie Momma?" Mom answers, "No, they're all gone." Technically, the cookies weren't all gone, but does it really matter? I personally, would have just said, "No, you can't have another cookie." But maybe with some kids they would rather not deal with the aftermath that may follow.

#2) Experiencing a little road rage and a bad word slips. Your kid asks, "What is ****?" You say, "There was a bump. It's called a pothole."

#3) Daughter asks, "Park today, Mommy?" Mom replies, "Maybe sweetheart. We'll see." Not technically a lie, but you know full well you don't have time today.

#4) Daughter says, "I need a knife, Mommy." Mom says, "No, you don't. Knives are dangerous." Daughter asks why. Mom says, "Because they are sharp and they can hurt you." Daughter asks why again. Mom says, "They are sharp so they can cut things." Daughter asks why yet again. Mom says, "Because sometimes we need to cut things and we can use a knife." Daughter replies, "Yeah, I need a knife, Mommy."

Okay, so this last one was my own experience and this feels like a daily occurrence for us. I love that she asks why, but my initial 3 or 4 answers are never enough. Is it okay to just say, "Because Mommy said so?" That, to me, even seems like a lie. I find myself feeling guilty if I don't answer all of her questions as honestly as possible or if I just give her an answer that will just get her to stop asking. So when is it right, if ever, to be dishonest with your kids? And is lying to your kids being 'dishonest' or is it just giving them the information they need?

Delightful Five

Last week, I posted about today; my eldest son's fifth birthday! (Remember, the boo-hoo-hoo?) Well today a lot was put into perspective. We (meaning the boys and I) went to our local zoo. On a scale from 1 to 10, it ranks in awesomeness about a 1 but,  I LOVE it because I can almost always keep up with my kids!
Today, while we were leaving the bug exhibit, Lincoln wanted to race. Apparently I was not ready, and I was packing up Henry and Jacob too slowly. So slowly, that when I went outside I only stayed calm for about 3 minutes as I searched for my new five year old. Was he playing hide and seek? Did he go back in the exhibit? Then, I was frantic. As I started to describe to a group of moms about my missing five year old, I was a little hysterical.
They were so helpful and one went looking for my little boy who dressed himself today in a blue and red shirt and khaki shorts with turtles all over, plus his running shoes.
After we found him, I grabbed him and sobbed while he explained that after calling and calling and calling for me (reminds me pioneer children who walked and walked and walked), he decided to do the race himself.
At the point in which I calmed down, I realized:
I would much rather have a son who is growing up and turning five, than not having a son at all. 
Nice realization, right?
I am so grateful for this good boy who made me a Mama. I love you Lincoln.


Five years in Perspective
Tuesdays in Tucson,
Brandi

                                             (Lincoln playing Tarzan on the trampoline)

My Shadow

Recently I have noticed little things that Sara does to be just like me. Like the way she pushes her stroller around the house and pretends like she is vacuuming. I had no idea that when I vacuum, I stretch out with my right arm and lift my right leg in this funny bowling like kick motion. Well, I was watching Sara follow me around with her stroller yesterday and noticed her lifting up her leg and she stretched forward. Funny how you learn things about yourself by watching your 2 year old.

When we walk up the stairs, I hold my hand on the wall with my pinky and the other fingers don't touch the wall. Sara tries to copy just what I'm doing and she'll watch me put my hand up and then try to do the same.

I called to Cameron the other day and say, "C'mon Babe" and Sara said, "Where'd Babe go?"

If I say something she thinks is funny, she'll ask me to say it over and over again and then try to repeat it too. She likes to wear a hat if I'm wearing one and tennis shoes or boots if that's what I'm wearing. She likes to carry around a little bag she refers to as her purse and use her "own chatstick" when I put on my lip gloss.

Sara wants to eat what I'm eating and drink what I'm drinking. She wants to sit right next to me and cross her legs just like mine. She says, "I need...." and act like she's looking for something because that's what I do when I'm actually looking for something. She wants to push the stroller with me in it (not happening) and drive the car (only in the circle). I love that she wants to see where I take my class at the gym and sit on the bike after my spinning class. I love that she wants to wear earrings and perfume just like me and put lotion on when I am.

I love that for now, she wants to be just like me. It makes me feel proud to be her mom and so happy that she likes me this much. I know there may come a day when she's not such a fan of her mom and isn't at all interested in doing anything like me. But for now, I love that she loves to see herself in me.

She's chewing gum in this picture. Good timing, right?
Me and my little shadow

Sick Again!

It seems like this time of year, it is impossible for us to all stay well for more than a few weeks. I will say, Sara is significantly healthier since she got her tubes in at 5 1/2 months. But after going to nursery, the grocery store, park, or the gym (germ filled places) she is bound to get sick.

My sister has 3 kids that were recently diagnosed with strep and the flu. And her youngest, only 5 months old, also had an ear infection. Whew!

Is it just impossible to keep our kids healthy or are there things we can do to help? Or maybe we're doing our kids a favor by building up their immune systems while they are young.

This is an interesting article about why keeping them clean could actually being making them sick.

Squeaky Clean

I've Been Watching You...

My oldest son is getting ready to start kindergarten. By getting ready, I mean in August. I have watched him grow, and have been with him every step of the way. This will be the first time that I turn the control over to someone else for entire days, filling most of his weeks. This is only the beginning.

This is really hard for me.
I cry.
(A lot.)
I have thought a lot about why this is? Why is this so hard? Why so many tears? Why the panic?

I'm not ready for the world to have such a big impact on my son. I'm not ready for all the hurt feelings of getting left out. I'm not ready for bullying and for kids making fun.
Mostly though, I wonder if I have taught him everything he needs to know before he goes. (I realize this sounds like he is leaving forever.)
I love this little boy, and I am not ready for him to grow up (at this point my I know my mom is reading and she is crying with me because she knows this is hard for me, but she is also laughing because of how much we teased her during  Sunday Sacrament Meeting meltdowns over her 14,13,11, and 9 year olds who would be leaving the house in 4,5,7, and 9 years!)
Lincoln promises that he will always snuggle me, but I realize this won't be true forever. As he grows, he will get too tall to sit on my lap. Yes, I understand this is healthy and quite normal but today I love those snuggles and hugs where we decide afterwards who is the bear.

On the positive, I look forward to PTA meetings, and being a class mom. I look forward to making treats, and accompanying class field trips.I look forward to spelling bees or baseball games; whatever he chooses to do. I look forward to watching him excel and take on challenges. And even though it seems far away, I'm sure blowing the air horn at his high school graduation will be an incredible moment in life.




Today we were dancing in our living room, and this Rodney Atkins song came on the radio. We danced and tears were in my eyes because I realize that we have done our best. WE have taught Lincoln how to be kind, sharing, compassionate, loving, and respectful. We haven't been perfect but hopefully we have been enough.
Enough growing up for one day!!!
Right now I have a future five year old to love, another future five year old to get dressed, and a third future five year old who needs a bottle

Tuesdays in Tucson
Five year old tragicdelight,
Brandi