It's Sunday! Going to church has become one of the hardest things in my week to do. Keeping Sara entertained on a bench is nearly impossible, but on the metal chairs at the back - it's even worse. She thinks it is so fun to run up and down saying, "Hi" to everyone. I pack every snack we own and every quiet toy I can stuff in to my enormous bag, but it doesn't work. She has too much spunk (as the Relief Society President told me one Sunday) for her own good. That she does. Today we lasted about 15 minutes before we found ourselves wandering the halls. Fortunately, we found refuge in the primary room with a few other families. It was Stake Conference Sunday, so the broadcast was playing in their too. We were able to halfway listen while our kids climbed on the chairs and pounded away on the piano.
This story only has a tiny bit to do with my question for today, but it definitely has to do with being a mom so here it goes...
Is it wrong to lie to your husband about going to Enrichment and really getting a pedicure instead?
I had every intention of going to the Relief Society Activity (or whatever it's called now) on Tuesday night. I got in my car and drove to the church, but I really really wanted to get a pedicure so I passed the church and kept going. I went to get a pedicure and I must say, it was amazing! They used this lemon salt scrub and then hot oil and stones. I spent an hour and a half sitting in the massage chair getting a pedicure and only felt a teeny bit bad about it. When I got home, C asked me how it was. I said,"Great." I could have been talking about the quilting activity or the pedicure, it didn't really matter.
Friday afternoon we were driving to the temple and I decided it was time to come clean. It was only a matter of days before he saw the bank statement and a charge from LoAnn Nails. I told C about my detour to get a pedicure and he was only slightly annoyed. At the end of the day, sure, I could have told him on Tuesday night. Regardless, the pedicure was amazing and I'm sure the Relief Society Activity was too. I promise I won't do that again, but for what it's worth... it was totally worth it!
now was he mad you spent the money on the pedicure or that you did not go to enrichment?
ReplyDeleteHi Karen! Found your blog thru facebook! So funny about the pedicure, only it woulda been fun to see you at relief society! ;)
ReplyDeleteI love you Karen!! Sometimes when you have a night away from the little ones you want to do something for yourself (like get a pedi) and may not feel like going to enrichment... THAT IS OK!
ReplyDeleteI hope this comment doesn't offend you; it's not meant to. Sunday's are hard for me too! keeping 4 kids entertained & quiet is not easy. Makelle is learning that we can't go roam the halls. whenever she gets restless or throws a tantrum we go out in the hall but she can't get down. She quickly learned she'd rather be on the benches than me holding her in the hall. I wouldn't feel bad about the pedicure though, mom's deserve it!
ReplyDeleteThat's hilarious, K. I forwarded it to your bishop...:)
ReplyDeleteIt seems like honesty is a crucial part of a healthy marriage. I don't think there is anything wrong with mom's need time out to get a pedicure, but I am troubled by the dishonesty and deceit in this story.
ReplyDeleteTo me the pedicure isn't the real issue, the real issue is why you didn't feel comfortable about being honest with your husband when you got home that night. I would be a little hurt and troubled if my husband were deceitful in a similar way. I think these small things are the kinds of things that lead to real problems in marriage.
I am also troubled with this blog sometimes. I think there are lots of good things about it, but I think it is dangerous for any group of people to help each other rationalize things that can be destructive at worst and far from our better selves at best.
I was once at a birthday party for a friend and there was an amazing cake. The party had lasted several hours and I was ready for another piece of cake. I knew I didn't need to eat two pieces of cake, but I also knew that if I told my friends I was thinking about eating another piece of cake they would encourage me to do so, and help me rationalize it. It played out just as I thought and I ate a second piece of cake.
I think there are better ways to help each other be better wives and mothers than helping each other to rationalize the parts of ourselves we know don't reflect the best that is in us. I know we need help at times dealing with the guilt that comes from not being perfect, but I don't think the answer is to tell each other that everything we do is fine, and even funny.
Dear Anonymous, I appreciate your point of view. However, if we can't find the humor in motherhood, we would never survive.
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