There are lot's of different sleep theories when it comes to babies/kids and book after book out there to define or explain why their theory is best. But when it comes right down to it, I think a lot of it depends on the mom and the kid. I used "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Baby" when Sara was really young to help her get on a schedule and it worked great for us! As she has gotten older, I've had to adapt to certain things and transitions.
About 4 months ago, I dropped the bottle at nap time and bed time. Up until recently, she would have her milk in a sippy cup just before she went to sleep. And even more recently, as in the last couple of days, we have gone to only having milk downstairs with lunch or dinner. I made the change because I realized that brushing her teeth before she drank her milk was kind of pointless and I want to develop good dental hygiene habits.
Plus, we recently left her with 2 baby sitters who had to put her to sleep. One let her scream for 10 minutes before she finally fell asleep. The other, lovingly went back upstairs and held Sara until she fell asleep in her arms. How sweet is that?
All that being said, she is having a more difficult time relaxing and going to sleep on her own because of the change in her routine. Now, she drinks her milk downstairs before bed, we brush teeth, read books, then go upstairs. I hold her in the chair with her blanket, washcloth (yes, she sleeps holding a washcloth), and pacifier (another battle I am gearing myself up for). We listen to about 4 minutes of music while she lays her head on my chest and then I put her in bed. Sometimes she tries to straighten her legs so that I can't lay her down, so I try to talk to her. "Okay Sara, it's time for night-night. No crying or fussing, okay?" She nods. "I'm going to put you to bed and not come up until in the morning, do you understand?" She nods. I then lay her down in bed.
Usually it takes only a couple of minutes before I hear the blood curdling screams. I wait half a minute or so and then go back upstairs to find her standing at the corner of her crib screaming. Take her out and say, "Okay, Momma will hold you for 1 more minute and then it's time for bed. Do you understand?" She nods. I hold her for another minute or so and then have the same conversation with her as I do the first time, lay her in bed and walk out. This time, she falls asleep.
So I'm asking you this.... how can I get my almost 2 year old back on track with a good (and easy) bed time routine?
You need to put her in bed and leave her there. She has to learn that you are not going to give in every time she screams for something. She is not hurt, not hungry, not cold, she is just doing what all kids that age do, and that is seeing how far she can push your boundaries and manipulate the rules. It is normal, but you have to set the rules and stick with them. She will learn, but you have to be firm with the rules.
ReplyDeleteIf you're going to go back in there & console her (which I think is perfectly ok, no one wants to listen to their child scream) don't tell her you're going to leave her in & not come back until morning. Omit that sentence. If you decide to go back in & console her after wait like 5 minutes or so. She's getting in the habit & knows how hard to cry to get you to come running to her. It's ok to let her cry & eventually she will learn to just go to sleep.
ReplyDeleteI'd love to hear about that book, I'm struggling to get Kyler to sleep through the night... he's teething & thinks he needs to eat twice a night. It's killing me!
Hmmm... well, bedtime is one of my favorite times of the night. We have been interviewing couples who have raised kids, and have asked lots of questions. One dad said, spend time with them the way they want to spend time with you. Don't make them go hunting if they want to sit and read a book. He said at bedtime he still goes in at night (his kids are 8,12, and 20) and tells his 8 and 12 year old stories and talks to them about their day. I agree that kids need to learn to go to sleep, but I LOVE laying down with my boys until they are almost asleep. That's just me.
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