I want to start out today by asking:
HOW DO YOU MAKE THE HARD DECISIONS AS A PARENT AND SHOW AN INCREASE OF LOVE?
I am really great friends with a woman who has an older son who, because of his continual drug use, chose not to continue living at home. The expectations were given, and he refused to abide by them; therefore causing consequences for his actions.
My kids are really young and we are not yet at the point of having our 5, 3 and 3 month olds decisions be enough that they are choosing not to live at home.
(SIGH) perhaps, someday we will be there, although that is a long way off hopefully.
As a parent of young kids, I am not prepared for this part of life with them yet
However, we have been dealing with a very close friend who is making poor choices as an adult, and by so doing choosing not to get to be with those she truly cares about; including our little family. This devastates her and she has shared her concerns with us, but there is also a refusal to accept that help is necessary.We accept this friend as part of our family, and we have great reason to be invested in her life. We have been placed as parental role models in her life, but we are truly struggling.
If anyone out there still reads ....any insight is helpful!
you can made those hard decisions with love, but the kids might not see it that way. When a child is making a bad choice, I believe their heart is hardened & they won't see things the same way you do. For example: my brother-in-law has decided to live a gay lifestyle. My mother-in-law still loves him, but doesn't love his choices. She has set rules & standards for her home, he cannot bring his boyfriend around; because we don't want that influence on our young kids. My brother-in-law is welcome around; but chooses not to come because he feels we don't accept him. We all still love him & are kind to him, but he doesn't see that. I don't think there's an easy answer. We just do the best we can & hope that our kids will eventually see it how we do.
ReplyDeleteI think anytime there is a relationship strained by someone's bad choices, it has to be a matter of prayer. Knowing you, Brandi, I know you are praying daily for your friend.
ReplyDeleteI also think it's important to tell the person often how much you love and care about them, but feel their decisions are causing great unhappiness.
Every individual and situation is different. Hopefully, at some point, your friend recognizes the love you have for them and chooses to change.
I know a family who has a rule that if you don't go to church with the family, you can't live in the home. I personally think this is a dangerous path. By focusing on what the child is doing well and encouraging them with love and support, I believe that even if they choose not to go to church, they will feel your love and their heart may be softened. However, if they feel you don't support them or an increase of love, they may continue down that dangerous path.
Good luck!
Great points Friends! I appreciate the words of wisdom!
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