I always look forward to Saturdays. Sleeping in... not really, but a day when C is home and we can run errands and hang out with friends. The only real downside to Saturday is that it means Sunday is next. I used to love Sundays and there are things about them that I still enjoy, but Sundays mean going to church . And going to church means every possible obstacle and challenge known to a mother in a 3 hour block period.
Why is going to church so hard?
Seriously, trying to keep a 20 month old within a 4x4 area = impossible. If we sit in the metal chairs at the back, she bangs ever possible toy on the chair and thinks it's more interesting to run up and down the aisles than sit reverently in her seat. I pack every snack we own, ever quiet toy I can find, the crayons, paper, books... you name it, it's probably in my bag. And yet, we can't get through the opening hymn without a fight. Last Sunday I was trying to hold her and she was climbing over the pew to the next row. As I'm pulling her down she starts to flail her body wildly making it nearly impossible for me to hold on without her banging her head on something, so I take her out. Finally, solace. The problem is, in order for her to learn that we don't act that way in church I am supposed to make her sit still on the coach, yeah right!
Please... please tell me how to keep her entertained. This girl is too not interested in sitting still for 2 minutes, let alone 3 hours.
The only thing I can think of is consistency. When she acts out she should be taken out, but not given freedom. She should be held until she can calm down. Then she can go back in & do quiet activites. Keep talking to her & telling her the rules. Eventually it will sink in & it will happen less often. Makelle is this way too, but the more consistent I am, doing the same thing each time, the less it happens. It's nice that they can FINALLY go to nursery! Good luck!
ReplyDeleteI am going through the EXACT same issue with my 20 month old as well. I praised the Lord when she was old enough to go to Nursery but I still miss out on almost every Sacrament meeting.
ReplyDeleteHere is what I do....I try all the same things you do (snacks, quiet activities, talking quietly in her ear). When she has reached her toddler limit of sitting still I remove her to the Mothers room. (It's not meant just for breast feeding.) I hold my daughter on my lap listen to the meeting from there since they have an audio feed. She can scream and cry and kick all she wants, but I hold her on my lap. If we just go out to the lobby and let them socialize (and sometimes socialize ourselvs) what is that teaching our children? Sometimes I spend all Sacrament meeting in the mothers room but my daughter does not get to leave my lap. This teaches her that whether we are in the chapel or in the mothers room we have to sit still in church. If she calms down we attempt to re-enter the chapel. Let me know if this works? And remember to be consistant.
I agree with the two above posts. You have to remember that a 20 month old is never going to sit still for 3 hours, so you have to adjust your expectations. You have to be consistent and take her out of sacrament meeting when she is too noisy, but it will take a lot of time for her to learn fully that going "out" during sacrament does not mean she gets to have any fun. You have to adjust your expectations about church because you have a 20 month old. I didn't have a quiet sacrament meeting until Aden was about 7, and even then there are some weeks where they do better than others. Child development takes their whole lifetime, one stage at a time.
ReplyDeleteI agree with the consistency. I spent a weekend with that smarty pants of yours and she knows what is going on. :) She is smart and if you take her out to play she will know it is play time in the hall..so why not make noise so we can go play? I like the idea of sitting in the mothers lounge. That way you can still hear the meeting, but if she screams she isn't bothering anyone buy you. :) And she is smart enough that hopefully after a month of doing that she will be easier. It is never easy :) just easier.
ReplyDeleteI said to Adam as we were leaving church yesterday, "it is absolutely pointless for me to come to church. I was late because of getting a baby ready and unexpected stuff...I nursed during the rest of sacrament meeting...we missed a nap because of church so I had a fussy 5 month old who doesn't understand reason yet - so we spent the rest of church walking the halls. Pointless" :) So no matter what stage you are in...it gets better...hopefully :)