On the Road Again...

I think we're all off by a day this week, but oh well. So technically this post counts for Wednesday since I'll be in the car ALL day. Sara and I are heading out with my cousin, Melissa, and her beautiful triplet girls. It should be an interesting 12 hour car drive. I have spent hours preparing for this event by packing, shopping for snacks, and browsing the aisles at the dollar store for toys to keep Sara occupied for this long journey. She is not much in to watching movies, but I'm hoping if it's right in front of her, she will be at least slightly interested. Here are a list of things I gathered for this trip (thanks to my sister for her suggestions):

Books
Mini-Flash Light
Stickers, lots and lots of stickers
Little notebook
Twistable crayons
Band-Aids
Doll
Toy Jewelry
Squishy Ball
Sound making toys
Toy Laptop - purchased at Once Upon a Child for $5

I'm sure we'll be singing lots of songs and doing our little car dance, but I'm always open for other suggestions.

What are some tricks you have used to keep your little ones busy in the car on a long trip?

Disrupting the Disruptor

I have the most amazing book. It is hysterical, and it has provided some of the funniest parenting moments. Everytime I think about it, it makes me giggle. It is called "Disrupting the Disruptor." Its purpose as a creation was to help school find a general way to disrupt the disruptors in the classroom, without having to yell, scream, and argue with students. I have found it incredible useful as a mother.

These are a few examples of how you can use the system:

Child #1: Child disrupts by unruly behavior (for instance the kids are arguing, engaging you in a power struggle/ tattle-telling)

Child #2: Child disrupts by not participating (won't help in family activity/doesn't want to be at home)

Scenario: child has started an argument with sibling

Mom says: "Child's name" can you go find the green hammer?
Child #1: the what?
Mom: Right. You got it! Go ahead and hop, skip, and jump to get it. We'll need it for dinner.
Child #1: Mom, it's breakfast time and what's a green hammer?
Mom: Oh, and the orange gibble.
Child #1: You're crazy.
Mom: What was in that ramen pack I ate for breakfast?

Scenario: My brother did not want to spend time at home as a teenager.

My Mom to my brother who didn't spend a lot of time at home: Hey soldier!!!
Brother: Oh great here we go again.
Mom: Hey Soldier, can you go ask Celinda for the left handed wrench?
child #2: huh?
Mom: Tell her we really need it.
child #2: Mom, you are crazy.

But, at least he was conversing with the family without a real struggle.

I have been spending the last few days with my wonderful in-laws, and there have been 11 kids here often. As you can imagine, there is a lot of tattle-telling, so all the parents here have jumped on board with the "disrupt the disruptor" theory.

My Darling Niece came in to tell us that one of the cousins hit her with the bunny. The conversation went like this:
Sister in law said, "the bunny hit you?"
Niece: "no, her son did (she pointed to me)"
Sister in Law: oh Mimi (who is mimi you ask? we still aren't sure)
Niece: no not mimi. her son (pointing to me)
Me: mimi hit her son? Oh man.
Niece: I am not playing games and she walked out.

Problem solved.

Again a darling niece comes to me to tell me something that has offended her. It went like this:

Niece: your son,
Me: (I put my hand straight up in the air)
Niece: I'm not giving you high five.
Me: was it the wheaties?
Niece: I'm not playing games with you.

She walked away. The next time she walked in the room, I put my hand straight in the air. She walked out.

I have used this on my two year old also. When he starts to throw a fit, and if we are at home, I lay by him and throw one too. He realizes that he is disrupting, and everytime --he starts to laugh. If my kids start getting whiny with, "i want juuuuiiiiccceee!" demands, I try and say exactly what they are saying at the same time. It throws them off, and then we are all laughing.

Good luck! I will post an actual example from the book whenI get home. Just remember, they think you're crazy, and that's good.

You can call Dr. Bennington and order his book. Click HERE

Tuesdays in Tucson
In Iowa,

Brandi

An Elephant Never Forgets...

But moms do sometimes. I realized in the shower this morning that I forgot to do my post yesterday. We had family come into town, and the day just flew by. I hate it when I forget a responsibility or something important. A few weeks ago, I completely forgot one of my tutoring appointments. I wasn't at home to meet my student. Oops! We had an important doctor's appointment for my daughter, and I forgot the referral on the bulletin board at home. Lucky for me, my pediatrician's office was able to fax one over right before the appointment.

How do you keep yourself organized so that you don't forget important things?

First, even the most organized person is going to forget something important occasionally. For me, I forget stuff when there is a change in my routine. I have to get myself and my three kids ready in time so that I have a couple of minutes to review and make sure I didn't forget anything. When I'm rushing and running behind, then I forget important things like referrals and tutor appointments.

Here are a few ideas of how to avoid those "Ahhh, I forgot..." moments.

1. When I have to get us all up and going early, I try to pack the night before. I make sure my diaper bag is fully stocked of the essentials, I put drinks and snacks in the car, I set out clothes for the kids, and I review my checklist before I go to bed so that I don't forget something important in the morning rush.

2. I keep an emergency diaper bag in the car. It has diapers, wipes, changes of clothes, snacks, baby food, first aid kit, water bottles, toys, etc. There have been many occasions that I have been so grateful for my emergency diaper bag. The trick is not forgetting to restock that bag after you have used it in an emergency. :)

3. I have a calendar on my bulletin board where I write down everything important. If I don't write it down, I will forget. Some moms use a small daily planner/calendar that they keep tucked in their purse or diaper bag. There are also calendars and planning tools online. I have used the google calendar in the past. For me, the best way to stay organized is the calendar on the bulletin board. I walk past it a 100 times a day. Find a tool that you know you will use and see often so that you can stay on time, and not forget.

Please share some of the tricks and tools you use to help you not forget!

Swimming with Sharks, or Babies

Okay, so here it is about 3 weeks after this blog started and it's going really well.  I appreciate all of the comments we've received, both good and bad.  Don't forget to e-mail me question/topic suggestions for posts in order to keep it interesting and exciting.  Thanks again for all your participation.

Today (Saturday) we took Sara swimming and I was reminded of what it was like to take her swimming when she was just a teeny tiny thing. She has always been very comfortable with the water and loved her baths from day 1.  We took her to Hawaii when she was just 7 months old and spent most of the time playing in the water.  I bought her one of those little flotation devices that is oval shaped.  It had a little seat in the middle and a sunshade over the top.  I think it was about $20 at Target and totally worth it.  We went swimming at least 4 times a week last  summer and she loved cruising around in it. 

When this summer came, she was not interested in it - at all.  Our neighborhood has a pool and a kiddie pool, which is perfect.  She loves to walk around in the water and climb up and down the steps.  I have tried putting her in a round tube, but she slips right out.  Yesterday, I tried arm floaties and those seemed to work really well actually, but after a while she wanted them taken off.  I feel lucky that she is so comfortable in the water and we hope to get her in swim lessons next summer.

Water safety is always a hot topic in Arizona in the summer time.  There are drownings reported weekly.  In a few weeks, Sara will start her drowning prevention class.  This is a class where they teach babies who fall in the water to recover by floating.  There are several places around town that offer the classes.  A friend of mine teaching 1 on 1 lessons and I am hoping Sara really benefits from them.  You can never be too careful when it comes to being safe at the pool.

Just a reminder... never leave your baby in the bathtub alone and never turn your back on them at the pool.  All it takes is a second.  Happy Swimming and Happy Summer!!

"It's My Party...

and I'll cry if I want to, cry if I want to, cry if I want to. You would cry too if it happened to you."

Sometimes when I think of the word 'newborn' I hear crying. There may not be a single baby in sight, but I swear I hear it. Maybe it's because my newborn had a particularly impressive cry, but nevertheless, babies do cry.

A friend of mine with a newborn recently confessed that she went to feed her baby in the middle of the night and turned the monitor down, as to not disturb her peacefully sleeping husband, only to forget to turn it back up when she returned to bed. This wonderful new mom woke up the next morning only to realize her baby must have woken up during the night and cried herself back to sleep. She felt terrible, for about 6.2 seconds until she recognized the fact that the baby did not starve and seemed to be in good spirits all things considered.

Oh if she only knew how many times we have 'accidentally' forgotten to turn the monitor back up. Just kidding. I guess my question for this post is:

At what point is it okay to just let a baby cry?

I recall one particularly difficult day(I had many) in the first few months of Sara's life. It seemed, at the time, like she never stopped crying. Even the most perfect mothers would feel flustered and frustrated at their inability to solve whatever the problem may have beeen. At the time, we lived in a 2 bedroom apartment and there was really no where to go (except 1 place) that I couldn't hear her screaming and I had just had enough. I gently put my crying babe safely in her bed, walked in to the bathroom, and took a shower. I didn't necessarily need a shower, but I felt like it was the only place I could clear my head and allow myself a few minutes of peace before returning to my little girl.

I guess I have learned through much stress, lost sleep, frustration, and angst that babies just cry sometimes. It may not be because they are hungry, tired, hot or cold. It may just be because they feel like it and that's okay. I had to tell myself that I wasn't a bad mother because my baby developed colic. It just happens sometimes and as difficult as it is, it does goes away.

Every moms level of tolerance for crying is different and every baby needs or doesn't need different things. And I know I've said this a lot and it doesn't really answer the question, but you have to do what's best for you. And if separating yourself from the situation to gain control is what you need to do, then do it. If cradling your baby in your arms and crying right along with her is what you need, then do it. If putting her in the stroller and taking her for a walk to scream outside is what you need, then do that too. Find out what works for you to help you be in control. Just remember as my doctor reminded me, no babies die from crying. Even with all the love and care in the world, sometimes all they need to do is cry.

What do you want to be when you grow up?

Driving home from the movies today, J asked me “Mom, do you know what I want to be when I grow up?” She has always, always, always been uber focused on the long term--always wanting to know how old she will be when…? She has this innate sense of the person she is to become and whimsically plans the details of her life with an extremely refined carefulness. So, as a mom – her mom, I was more prepared than ever and merrily recited the list of occupations and aspirations she has so proudly proclaimed throughout her life (her entire 6 and ¾ years, that is.) A list that I have been accumulating in my head of both realistic and down-right far-fetched life expectancies while throwing in a few aspirations I have for her of my own. After all, why can’t she be the President of the United States or the scientist that finds the cure for cancer?

Having children has opened my eyes to the endless possibilities that lie in each of us. I look at each of my children and think "You could be anything! You can do absolutely anything you want to do!" Their potential is amazing. Constantly astounding.

And not only theirs. Yours. Mine, too. I think as individuals (me, anyways) we sometimes pigeonhole ourselves. "Oh, I don't do that." or "I could never do that." or "Not me." Well, actually, not so! That same childlike potential lies in all of us.

So how do we cultivate the aspirations in our lives, our children’s lives?

The key is believing. Believing that we CAN do it, that they can do it. Believing that we WANT to do it, they ALWAYS want to do it. And of course, working hard to DO it.

And. The working hard part isn’t even the hard part. It’s the "thinking you can do things," the believing in yourself that gets tough. So, believe! You can do it! I know you can! You can do anything!

Food, Glorious Food

When I was in 5th grade, I participated in an optional school choir called "ET Singers". It was called that because we met Early Thursdays before school. Get it? HA! Anyway... we would preform at nursing homes, the mall, the park, wherever the music teacher could bribe someone to let a rowdy bunch of 5th graders sing. I was never a very good singer, still am not. But I do love to sing. The theme of our performance as an "ET Singer" was food. All the songs were about food or something related to it. I got this e-mail from a friend with a newborn and felt inspired to write a post about FOOD.

HOW do you do it? How long do you JUST do rice cereal? (I have heard 2-4 weeks) Do you only do it morning and night? Do you always nurse/bottle feed after rice cereal? When you introduce food (we will say carrots...since that is where we are) :) --- Do you do rice cereal only in the morning and only carrots in the evening...or do you ALWAYS mix rice cereal with carrots? When do you start mixing foods like- carrots in the morning and peas in the evening? When is it that you do the "stage 2" foods like "turkey and gravy" - just after you have tried all the others? And when do you do 3 meals a day - with nursing/bottle as snacks inbetween? WHAT IS THE FOOD SCHEDULE FOR BABIES?!?!

There are about 12 questions in that one paragraph, but I will do my best to cover them all. And please, you other moms out there, give us some input. Every baby is different and reacts differently. We need lots of help for this one!!

Okay... Sara had a little trouble when she was first born with her tummy, so the doctor recommended waiting until she was the full 6 months old before introducing rice cereal. I planned to take his advice until I met an African woman at the WIC office. I had to watch a nutrition video and she was there with her 4 children watching it also. We got to chatting, because that's just what I do, and her 4 month old was sleeping through the night. I was totally jealous and wanted to know her secret. She told me that she was giving him rice cereal before bed. I decided to throw my doctors advice out the window because I was just that desperate for sleep. I went home that night and tried to feed Sara rice cereal in the bottle. I only put a tiny bit in because I wanted to see how she would react to it. After she sucked on the bottle for about 10 minutes, I realized not an ounce of it was gone. Apparently, you are supposed to buy special nipples for rice cereal because it clogs the regular ones. Duh! Someone should have told me that. ;) Anyway... I decided to just snip the top and see how it went. She seemed to be eating it just fine, but instead of sleeping through the night, she was up ALL night crying with a bad tummy ache. I vowed then and there to listen to my doctor more faithfully.

I did wait until Sara was about 5 1/2 months and introduced rice cereal in a bowl. I would feed it to her with a spoon and she really liked it. I mixed it with a little bit of warm water and fed it to her at breakfast time and dinner time. We did that for about a month and then I started mixing it with peas, beans, or applesauce and giving it to her at breakfast, lunch, and dinner times. I was still giving her a bottle before each nap, but added in the 'solids' at meal times. I've also heard to do green foods first, oranges next. So we stuck with the green and applesauce for a while, but I noticed she was getting constipated more, so then I started adding yogurt. I did oatmeal mixed with yogurt for breakfast, bottle for nap, rice cereal and something else for lunch, bottle for nap, rice cereal and something else for dinner, then bottle for bedtime. I think we continued with this routine for a couple of months and it seemed to be going really well for her.

Once she was really good at eating the 3 solid meals a day with the rice cereal and greens, I introduced the oranges, bananas, little pieces of string cheese. You can start with the puff cereals for snacks as soon as they start crawling, which Sara didn't do until 10 months, but I started them at about 8 months because Sara had several teeth. I slowly introduced other foods she could tolerate, small pieces of bread, smashed banana, canned pears, applesauce, yogurt, anything else I felt like she could eat without choking. When Sara dropped her morning nap, she naturally went to only having a bottle at her 1 nap and bedtime. We continued with that until she was about 14 months. We dropped the bottle completely, but now she gets a sippy cup of milk with her lunch and dinner.

I think the key is that every baby is different and every small transition takes time. If your baby is struggling with rice cereal, wait a few weeks and try again. If they don't like a particular kind of food, try again the next day. I heard once that a baby has to see a food 5 times before they are comfortable enough to try it. So keep pushing them to try new things, but make sure they are safe eating it. Watch for reactions to different types of foods. If you have allergies to foods, your children are more prone to it. Sara isn't allergic to anything and never had a reaction to foods, so I felt comfortable closing the gap on introducing new things. We didn't always wait the full 2 weeks before we'd start something else, but you do what works for you. Just be patient with it and they will figure it out.

Summer Time And the Livin' is easy....

But then, someone always invites winter (here in Arizona we don't celebrate fall,) and the party is over. At least this seemed true for me for a long time. I would like to call this post:

Summer Time Mom vs. Winter Time Mom

I feel like a much easier going mom in the summers. In Arizona it gets to be about 115 degrees, which means lots and lots of time at the swimming pool. Lucky for me, both of my sun-bathed beauties love the water, and love to swim. They love to have picnics under the trees, and eat popsicles (Henry likes all of them, and Lincoln likes red and purple.) It is easier to get my children to go to sleep and to actually rest because of the pure exhaustion. The increase of drinking water happens, and the kids enjoy the fruits of summer. Plainly put, for me it seems easier to be a happier mom in the summer.

My first three winters as a mom were in states where we were up to our ears in snow. While this is a slight exaggeration, it felt like the story your grandpas tell; when I was young I walked to school through the snow, up hill both ways. That's what my first few winters of motherhood seemed to bring. i was discouraged from the lack of sunshine. I was stir crazy because I couldn't leave my house. I counted down the minutes until nap time and bedtime, knowing that there would probably be some ups and downs through the night.

So, here's what I did.

1) I invested in play-doh.
This is one thing I love to play with my kids. I love to sit and create at the table. And, I don't care if they mix all the colors and get it on the floor.

2) I invested in paint
My boys love to paint. Off go the shirts, and they are free to paint on paper or their tummies. Bath time was way more fun when you had paint to wash off.
I also invested in paint to paint my house. MY husband was gone 15 hours a day and I needed a hobby.

3) I found a children's museum and became a member, so we could go spend a few hours there once in a while and have a break.

4) I taught Lincoln the ABC's.

5) I made aprons and started letting the boys help me cook! They enjoyed pouring the flour and sugar in, and once again, if it gets on the floor- that's what brooms are for!

6) We got library cards- they are free and we enjoy checking out books, building forts, eating popcorn and watching a movie!

What does all this mean?

For some, being a happy mom is not dependent on the time of the year, (or the time of the month.) For me, the winters were a struggle, so I had to prepare myself ahead of time for how to deal with the lack of sunshine, and lack of outside fun.

Think about your life. Break it down. Is there a time of year that's harder? Is there a time a month? Is there a time each day (for me it's early morning until about 9:30). Find some things you can do, or things you can teach your children to do independently so that things still run smoothly.

Tuesdays in Tucson
About to go Swimming,

Brandi

Pollyanna

Have you guys ever seen the movie Pollyanna? It's one of my all-time favorites. I love it when Pollyanna says that if her family was rich, they would eat "steak and ice cream for every meal." Last night, C grilled up some nice top sirloin steaks. We had some pasta and corn on the cob. It was delicious! Sara absolutely loves corn on the cob. She isn't really much of a meat eater though. I've tried giving her different types of meat here and there, but she's never really interested in it. I gave her a few bites of my steak last night and she said, "Mmmm! Mummy mummy mummy!" Which translates to Yummy in my Tummy. Finally, a meat the girl will eat. Of course, she has expensive taste. Top Sirloin is not cheap unless you price match it at Wal-Mart because it's on sale for $1.99 this week. I just bought 3 pounds this morning for $6. Not too shabby! Anyway, so it reminded me of the move Pollyanna, especially because she followed up her steak dinner with an ice cream cone.

Speaking of Pollyanna, I've been trying to get Sara to sit still and watch a TV show or even baby Einstein's since she was born. At this point, she still has no interest in it. She'll watch the very beginning and very end of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. She loves to do the hot dog dance! I would really appreciate her sitting and watching a 30 minute show, so I can finish mopping the kitchen or take a shower without worrying about the bathroom falling apart. But I certainly don't want to overdue it. I've heard recently about the association between ADD and kids watching a lot of television. What do you moms think?

When is a good time to allow your kids to watch TV? How much is too much at this age? Is there a way to 'train' them to watch it?

Personally, I LOVE watching TV. It's totally mindless and a good way for me to relax. I could definitely do more to limit the amount of TV that I watch, but I do not watch TV while Sara is awake (most of the time). There is nothing productive about what I watch unless it's something on HGTV. Have you guys been watching the new Design Star? Love it!

2:09:50

2 days, 9 hours, and 50 seconds...the length of my first labor. Just kidding! Actually, it's 2 hours, 9 minutes, and 50 seconds...my time for my first half marathon that I ran last weekend.

Last December, I set a goal for myself to run a full marathon this fall. My youngest will turn 1 a few weeks before I race. I thought running would be a great way to get back into shape after my 3rd baby. It has actually turned out to be much more. Running has become my "me time".

My husband cut out a comic for me on Mother's Day that had a child asking a father how to spell mothers. His reply was something to the effect of "others with an M". This is so true. Mothers often put the needs of the "others" in their lives first. I believe this characteristic is what makes us unique and special as mothers.

As a mother, I have learned that I am at my best when I don't forget to do something special for myself. Depending on the changing needs of the "others" in my life, I find time to do something for me sometimes daily, once a week, or even only once a month. I have to be flexible but never forgetful. Mothers, we do a lot for others; please never forget to do something for yourself.

What do you do for yourself that helps you be a better mother?

Right now, I run. I look forward to a long, challenging run. I feel good when I'm finished, and I am a better mommy. I have more patience, and I feel more prepared for the challenging times. About a month ago, my oldest stepped on my right foot and injured one of my toes. It turned purple and got really swollen. I didn't run for 10 days while it healed, and I noticed a huge difference in my mood and my interactions with my children. I was not at my best when I wasn't able to take time for me doing what I'm interested in right now - running.

I have to be creative to find time to run. I have a treadmill in my garage that has been my lifesaver. I run early in the morning, late at night, and anytime in between. Some days I put on a cute hat to cover up my bed head hair until I can squeeze in my run during nap time. I look forward to the weekends when my husband is around and I can run outside.

I hope you all have something special that you do just for you. It's important to set personal goals and watch yourself improve. Remember that life situations and interests change all of the time. Find something for yourself that makes you feel good. Maybe right now, you are interested in mastering a new recipe, creating a new scrapbook layout, designing unique hair bows, posting on a blog, making a new friend, reading an interesting book, or simply taking a nap while baby is sleeping. The important thing is that we are all doing something that is just for mother.