"Is Anyone Out There...

Building Mother's Self-Esteem?" is a book I started reading recently. It's written by mother of 8, Marilynne Todd Linford. I found it buried in a cabinet at my parents house last week. My father gave it to my mother as a gift for Christmas in 1986. He wrote on the inside cover, "To the best wife and mother in the world."

It shares a lot of examples and advice about maintaining your self-esteem as a woman through motherhood. She says, "This book will not tell you how to keep a cleaner house, how to be more organized, or anything else that may cause you to feel inadequate, overwhelmed, or frustrated. My purpose is to talk about how to combat mother abuse and the pressures of the world. We mother have spent years learning about how to build the self-esteem of our children. Now it is our turn."

I don't consider myself someone who necessarily struggles with self-esteem, but I know many women do. I'm not sure how I really ended up with the confidence I have, but I have it. Sometimes it can even be misunderstood as arrogance, but I feel it's more about being comfortable in my own skin and happy with who I am, as imperfect as I may be. I am striving to be better and continuously improve in all aspects of my life, but I understand that mistakes and weaknesses are part of the process and I am okay with that.

Mary mentions in the book, "If your self-esteem is low, this does not mean you have low intelligence, that you lack talent, or that you are not of great value to your family and society. It simply means you do not feel good enough about yourself. If you fall into this category, please doing something about it now because low self-esteem is contagious."

What do you to to build yourself up or those around you?

Stay tuned for more excerpts from this amazing book!

I'm here, I'm here...

Sorry for disappearing AGAIN. Sara and I took a very last minute (booked the ticket the night before we left) trip to Utah. I'm back, so I'll get back to posting. Today is Jenn's day. ENJOY!

STREAKING

I am a huge fan of modesty in dress. To me, modesty is so important, because I want my sons to grow up and appreciate a young woman who loves herself enough to keep herself covered. I want my future daughters to grow up and not have to flaunt their bodies for attention from young men. I think virtue is found in modest dress;

which brings me to my question:

WHAT IS MY TWO YEAR OLD TRYING TO PULL BY BEING A STREAKER???

Seriously folks, I have never, until this point, lived with a streaker. It doesn't matter where we are: first-- off comes the shirt, followed by the shorts, and then the diaper. He wants to run around naked. Outside in my backyard I don't mind, but inside when he streaks and then pees all over the floor....and then pulls the cutest face in the world and says "Ha Funny!!!"

WHAT DO I DO?

Please whatever you say, don't mention potty training. As a parent, potty training has been the hardest thing I have ever helped my oldest son accomplish. And it took us months. I have a feeling that the streaking has to do with his desire to use the potty, but--oh look-- here come the hives.

Being the only part of the equation that isn't ready for potty training
Tuesdays in Tucson,

Brandi

A Brush With Drama

Sometimes it is so hard to convince our 2 year old to let us help her brush her teeth. We know she can't get them as clean as we can.

How do you convince your toddler to let you brush their teeth?

My husband will play dentist with the girls. He talks in a silly voice, and our oldest opens right up ready for a good cleaning. But, our toddler just wants to do it herself. Grandma always tells the girls that she's finding bugs while she's brushing their teeth. They giggle as she brushes off the ants, butterflies, and caterpillars. What works for you? We need more tricks to help us convince our toddler to open wide.

Sugar, Sugar...

Is it wrong to bribe your kids with treats?

Is it okay to let your baby drink a few sips from your can of Dr. Pepper?

When and how do you introduce juice to your kids?

High Fructose Corn Syrup or regular Sugar?

If your kid falls and gets hurt and immediately asks for a piece of candy, is that a bad thing?

How many popsicles in 1 day when it's 115 degrees outside is too many?

Should I be limiting myself to only a few of the previous items or are doing all of them bad?

Please and Thank You

I would like to preface this post by saying that this is what worked for me. It is not a documented theory that is fail proof, but it worked in our home. On teaching please and thank you, I started with both my boys as soon as they were babbling. When I handed them something, I would say "thank you Mama! Oh, you're welcome Lincoln. You're welcome Henry!" When they did anything praiseworthy, which was often, we would say, "thank you so much." David and I would make a big deal to say please and thank you, and respond with you're welcome. We did this, what seems like, a hundred times a day, but sure enough, as soon as our little boys started speaking, they would use their magic words like a charm. I have not had to use the "What do you say?" technique (which is not my favorite technique anyway.) If they forget in public, I use the same theory. "Thank you, Miss Mandy," I say for example, and my boys will repeat what I have said. There is no punishment when they forget; rather a gentle reminder of what is expected.

Tuesdays in Tucson,
Brandi

Pampers v. Huggies

I have two kids in diapers. Hugh! It is so expensive. Last month, I decided to try out the Target brand diapers for my 2 1/2 year old. Wow, they did not work well. One morning her diaper fell off, so she dropped it on the floor outside of her crib. It seems like anytime I've ever tried the cheaper store brand diapers on my kids it has been a disaster...blowouts and leaking all of the time. I have friends that have only used the store brand diapers for all of their kids, and their kids never had a single blowout. I've often thought to myself, are the diapers faulty or are my kids just unique.

So, how do you decide which kind of diapers to buy? I usually stick with the big box of Huggies at Costco. We seem to have less mess with these. I have tried the Kirkland brand a few times, and they have worked well for us. A couple of months ago, I got some Pampers on sale and with a coupon. They are awesome diapers. My 2 1/2 year old could soak those diapers until they weighed about 5 lbs. it seemed, and they never leaked. So, is it worth it to pay more money for diapers? I've even looked into the reusable cloth diapers. My husband said no way. He's not real good with messy stuff.

How do you decide which kind of diapers to buy?

TGIF

Or not. Sara has been sick for the last 4 days with diarrhea. I am sure glad spell check knew how to spell that word, because I didn't. Anyway... I don't know if she caught a little virus or maybe swallowed some bacteria at the pool on Monday. I finally took her to the doc this morning and he didn't really tell me anything I didn't already know, but good thing I took her in... the girl was totally dehydrated after a million poopy diapers. I have been pushing fluids all day and she is definitely on the mend, dehydration wise. But still not over the diarrhea. Hopefully tomorrow will bring a better day. But this whole experience, in addition to others I've had, got me thinking...

When do you take your kid to the doctor?

I know there are lots of web-site resources out there that describe all the major symptoms to watch out for like a raging fever, but what about the normal stuff like throwing up, runny/stuffy nose for days, bad cough, diarrhea...? A friend of mine once said, "If it doesn't go away in 7 days, see the doctor." Which I think is great advice, but I worry too much to wait that long and what if day 7 is Saturday and then you have to wait until Monday to get her in unless you want to pay for the ER or Urgent Care?

Do you guys have a rule of thumb when determining how long you wait to see the doctor?

What's in a Name?

I was just talking with my sister who is about to have her 3rd baby, but first boy. She is due in about 2 months and isn't sure what to name the little guy. We knew for a long time what we wanted to name Sara, but we didn't tell anyone. It was important for us to choose what we wanted rather than listening to other peoples opinions. But, it isn't that way with everyone. Some people choose a name long before the baby is born and refer to them by name.

Every evening for a couple of weeks, Cameron and I would go through the baby name book by letter and write down all the names we liked. We ended up with 17 names that had to be taken down to 3 or 4. We had 3 names in mind when we went to the hospital, but both of us like Sara the best. We're still hanging on to the other 2 names, just in case we have a girl next.

How did it work for you? How did you choose your baby's name? Will you use the same method next time around?

Nose Picking and the EAR WAX MONSTER

Nose picking is a funny topic. Before my kids started picking their noses I thought a lot about what to do to help prevent it--if that would even be possible. As I thought about it, I decided to try another CRAZY idea. So far--it has worked wonders.

As I pulled Lincoln's finger away from his nose picking I said something along the lines of, "Lincoln, your picking your nose but please, please, pleeeaaaassseee don't touch me with the ear wax monster." And I proceeded to show him how to stick his finger in his ear for a half second and wave his finger at me. He quickly forgot about his nose and started focusing on the ear wax monster. We played the "Don't get me with your ear wax monster!!! Don't get Daddy," as I ran around pretending to scream and everyone ending up laughing. Having my son, two at the time, stick his finger in his very clean ears, and wave it at me did not seem inappropriate, and at four he still thinks it's hysterical. Although now, he adopts Kung Fu Panda's language and waves his ear wax monster finger at me as he yells skadoosh.

At the start, anytime he went to pick his nose, I started saying, "Oh No! Not the ear wax monster," and the behavior stopped and laughing ensued!

This technique goes along with my last of disrupting the behavior I didn't want to see, and so far in our house it has worked for us. We have not had any real problems with our two year old yet, because when he gets a "boogie" he screams for a wipe.

Keep in mind, I have not raised pre-teens or teenagers yet, but i can imagine that this idea won't work on the older kids and they might just need to be told the social ramifications of picking their noses. Also, by the time they are pre-teen, the ear wax monster will probably have out-lived it's usefulness.

Tuesdays in Tucson
Running from Ear Wax Monsters,

Brandi

Date Night

Last night my husband and I got to go out on a date. :) My sweet sister came over and babysat for us, and we went into town to run a bunch of errands. It wasn't your typical dinner and a movie date, but I don't really think it matters so much what you do. What's important is to get out and do something together.

At this point in life, we can't afford to pay a babysitter to come every week for date night. So, we have to improvise. We are very lucky to have family that live 10 miles away, so they help out a lot with babysitting. We have to be careful to not abuse and over-use. Most of the time, we just do something together at home after the kids go to bed. We'll get a movie, work in our yard together, or just talk. But I also think it's important to actually get out of the house and do something as a couple whenever possible.

How do you decide how much to pay the babysitter?

A Day of Rest

I am in serious need of a day of rest, so this post is to tell you that I will no longer be posting on Saturdays. I know Sunday's are the traditional day of rest in Christianity, but my sister-in-law, Annika, is in charge of posting on Sunday's and I always look forward to it. So... I've decided to award myself a blogging day of rest and it will be Saturday. I will continue to post on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday with our contributors posting the other 3 days. In honor of this day of rest, I am now going to take a nap. ;)

Mothers of Multiples

This past weekend, I traveled to Utah with my cousin who has the most amazing triplet girls. They are 7, almost 8 and we had a blast. I love being able to talk to a 7 year old and I was blown away at the questions they come up with like, "Do they get jelly from a jellyfish?" and "Does bubble-bath make you act crazy?"

I used to think it would be really fun to have twins until I had just 1 and she was all I could handle. I wonder how moms of multiples do it. I guess if it's all you know, you make it work. But what are some things you moms of multiples know that you can teach us that just have 1?

One of my biggest challenges is helping Sara to be independent, but also feel like I'm present in her life. I want her to be able to play on her own, think for herself, and feel comfortable expressing her opinions, but I also want her to know she can talk to me and follow me around sometimes and still hold my finger while we walk. You moms of multiples are experts at multi-tasking and because you were always bouncing from one baby to another, to another, to another... your babies may have developed more patience and independence. So please... enlighten us all.

Summer Time!

I've been trying to think of really creative things to do with Sara now that is it literally over 110 degrees every day. Going to the pool is always fun, but after an hour or so, I just can't take it anymore. I have looked online to find some good indoor activities to do with babies or young toddlers and here is a list I have come up with:

Bowling - Yes, it's true. I took Sara this morning. It was $2 and they didn't have shoes small enough to fit her. She loved pushing the ball down the ramp and the bumpers always help!
Library - Look at your local library web-site. Some have summer reading programs and they can earn prized for the number of books they read.
Mall - Most malls have some kind of kids club. Check your local mall's web-site for details. They are fun and totally free. Some even offer discounts at stores within the mall.
Gyms - Places like Little Gym and Gymboree Classes offer 1 free complimentary class. Check the web-site or call your local chapter for schedule.
Toy Store - Sometimes it's nice to let your toddler browse the aisles of Toys 'R Us and play with random new toys. Just remember, "You break it, you buy it."
Target - Who doesn't love a good walk through Target? I sit Sara in the back of the shopping cart, get her a popcorn and me a soda for $1.50 and browse. This can be dangerous for compulsive shoppers, like me.
Barnes 'N Noble - Books, books, and more books for them to read. Some stores have monthly story times and our local store has a train table that Sara loves it!

At Home Ideas:
Play Doh - home-made recipe online
Finger paints
Baking - Sara loves to hold the mixer.
Dance to music videos on YouTube
Container sorting - Put several containers and their lids on the floor. watch as they try to sort and put together all the different containers.
Cardboard Boxes - Save those moving boxes and build a tunnel or fort
Balloons - Blow up balloons and bounce them around the house. Give her a straw and teach her to blow them around.
Edible Necklaces - Fruit Loops or Cheerios work great!
Play Dates - Talk to other moms who are in the same boat. Trade houses once a week for play dates. It's always more fun to play with someone else's toys.

What are some things you do to keep yourself and your toddler busy in the sweltering summer months?

S-L-A-C-K-E-R

So sorry for not posting... oh my gosh I have totally fallen behind. But I'm glad I'm not the only one. I was traveling this weekend for a family reunion and the internet did not work where I was staying. I know it's not a great excuse, but an excuse nonetheless.

Something I have been thinking about is the physical changes our body goes through while we are pregnant and getting back to the body we had before the baby. I know everyone's bodies are different and respond to pregnancy differently, but I think it's safe to assume that we'd all like to go back to looking like ourselves again after it's over with. With that being said...

Will I ever get my body back?

Well, that all depends on 2 things. You and your body. I felt like I looked 6 months pregnant when I left the hospital to bring Sara home, but I know moms who looked like they were never pregnant 2 days later. That has to do with your body and there's not much you can do about that. It took me a good 6 months to feel like my body got back to somewhat of the shape it was before the baby, but even now... it's still not the same and I don't think it will ever be. I know there are moms out there who have made it happen. What works for you?

I personally am not a big fan of exercise, but I've been doing a little more of it lately and it's been fun. I don't necessarily think I'm using it as a tool to change my body, but it's a great way to be active and relieve some stress. There are some people who can't live without exercising. Is that the key? I've also heard nursing is a great way to lose the baby weight, but what about for moms who do not nurse or don't get the result they expected from nursing? Is there hope?

Motherhood: An Eternal Partnership with God

I Need Red Bull

I've never actually had a whole Red Bull, but I've tasted it and it tastes like liquid smarties. Yuk! But I could use something... I am currently visiting my parents home out of state. They don't live in the home, but it is so fun to visit and see other family and get away from the hot hot sun in Arizona for a few days. Sara always has a difficult time adjusting when we go to a new place or not necessarily new, but anything that isn't what she's used to. I know some babies/kids are more tolerant of change, but I have no idea how to create a child who to adapts better to new environments.

Sara decided she needed to wake up last night at about 12:45am screaming. I let her cry for about 20 minutes before I tried to console her. If we were at home, I would have let her continue to cry unless I detected something was wrong. I felt badly that she was disturbing the other people staying here, so I tended to her more quickly. I comforted her and put her back in bed. She was quiet for a few minutes and then the crying began again. This back and forth again continued until 4:45am. Yes, that's right... 4 hours. I had finally reached a point of complete exhaustion, I just couldn't do anything to make whatever was going on better, so left her alone. I went upstairs, closed the door, and turned on the bathroom fan to drowned out the noise. I last heard her at 5:30am.

She took a usual nap today and then fell asleep swinging at the neighbors house at 5:30pm. I let her sleep for about 20 minutes until dinner and then tried to put her to bed at about 7:30. She put up a HUGE fight, bigger than ever. At home, she goes right to bed and sleeps all night. I finally got her to relax enough to lie down in her temporary bed. She cried for about 5 minutes and then went to sleep.

So tell me.... how do you help your babies become more adaptable to new environments and circumstances?

Who Needs Red Bull

I have this weird sort of innate inability to sleep when my children are going to be sick. To further explain, last night went a little like this...

~

Me and hubby comfortably snuggled into bed.

He - nearly asleep just moments after lying his head on the pillow.

Me - suddenly wide-eyed, bushy-tailed.

Eyes, so awake, eagerly, desperately searched for a way out of my head.

An energy level even a four-pack of Monsters could not achieve.

~

I was aghast after only having 4 hours of sleep the night before and began wrestling my pillow and the blankets in a worthless attempt to find solace and, I must admit, awaken my husband (why should I be the only one awake?) When he finally came into consciousness after all my stirring around, he boldly asked "which one of the kids is going to be sick tonight?" He knows, as do I, that when I go to bed and can not sleep, one of the kids will be waking in the night with a fever or vomiting or both. We can predict this with 99.9% accuracy.

~

K awoke at 1:30am with a stuffy nose, scratchy throat, and a fever.

We were not surprised.

I was fully awake and prepared.

~

I consider this anomaly a gift. What mother wouldn't? During this superhuman state of maternal awareness, my energy level is insurmountable...my mind clear...my commitment to sooth my ailing child unparalleled...my patience divinely bestowed. Which leads to the question of the day...

~

How do you comfort your child when (s)he is sick?

~

Each one of my children is different. One likes to be left alone, sleeping the illness away. Coincidentally, he is rarely sick and, when he is, can sleep it off and be back to normal in 12 hours or less - no matter the condition. 24 hour bugs typically last 2.4 hours, sometimes only 24 minutes. Another wants to be held and cuddled constantly. Life around me is literally frozen as I care for her; reading books, coloring pictures, singing lullabies. The last of the three is a fair mix of the first two, each illness being different. Last night she wanted to be held and her back rubbed...for 3 hours. But for all three, I realize nothing is more important than giving them my patience and love.